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Fman of steel4/18/2023 If you’re looking to categorize the kind of funeral doom Angmodnes offer up on their debut album, it’s closer to Mournful Congregation than Skepticism, settling somewhere in the range of Shape of Despair or contemporaries like Lone Wanderer. Since we’re talking about funeral doom here, it should be noted that our Unhappiness Scale will never go lower than “Space Shuttle Challenger,” and could potentially go as high as “heat death of the universe.” Instead of sad, I’ll say something like “reading Old Yeller,” or instead of hopeless, I’ll say “New York Jets fan.” 1 It’ll be like that episode of The Next Generation when Picard has to figure out an alien language that constantly cites example while fighting a Predator or whatever. In the pursuit of more robust ways to say “unhappy,” I’ll employ metaphor. Before me is the prospect of reviewing not just doom, but death doom, and not just death doom, but funeral doom in the form of The Weight of Eternity by Dutch act Angmodnes, and friends, I just don’t have it in me to google more synonyms for “sad.” For this post I propose a change. As one of the primary reviewers of doom metal ’round these parts, I find it challenging to continue finding different ways to say “this music is unhappy.” I can only use adjectives like mournful, miserable, wretched or despondent so many times before I’m tired of typing them and you’re tired of reading them.
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